


Eternity

by HowlsAttackOnPhandoms



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Death, First Love, Flashback, Love Story, M/M, Not vivid, Suicide by falling, just implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 05:51:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10758039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowlsAttackOnPhandoms/pseuds/HowlsAttackOnPhandoms
Summary: Eren was Levi's first love, but he left.  Based on Troye Sivan's Blue Neighborhood series.





	Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> This work is loosely based on Troye Sivan's video series for Blue Neighborhood. The link is here if you would like to watch the videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xCMF7jsDJI 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this little drabble of mine!

Gray surrounds me. Rain pours down from the sky. The splashing from the rain wake me, reminding me of what today is. The clothes are neatly stacked upon my desk, black and white. 

The bed creaks as I get up, and I run my hand over the sheets. Memories flood back to me, filled with love and fear. I give a rueful smile, and stand up, gently unfolding the clothes. 

The black and white suit slips on easily, hanging a little baggy on my thin frame. I face the room, standing in the doorway. Flashes of happy times pop up before me, memories of stolen kisses, of first love, of heartbreak. 

Tears escape, sliding down my face before hitting the floor. The aching in my chest won’t stop, a throbbing pain that’s never-ending.   
I close the door. 

The weather outside hadn’t changed, the rain quickly drenching my clothing. Stumbling around, the droplets mixing in with my tears, I don’t see the little kid until she grabs onto my sleeve.   
“Hey mister, where are you going?” 

I look down at her, at her innocent face, innocent of the harsh reality of life. Closing my eyes, I breathe. 

“I’m going to say goodbye.” 

~~~  
“Levi~!” A smiling ball of sunshine bursts into my garden, sprinting up to me. 

“What do you want brat?” I put down the book I was reading, staring at the younger boy. He gave me the widest grin, one that could make anyone melt. My heart skipped a beat, but I didn't let it show. 

“I have something for you. Come on!” He grabbed my hand, his soft in mine. I gripped his tighter, letting myself get pulled along. Acting like I was angry, I relished this moment. It was one of those rare occasions where I had found happiness. 

“It’s in here. We’re almost there!” Eren led the way, down a winding path in the woods, one that was familiar to both of use through years of use. His laughter rung through the deserted forest, involuntarily making me smile. His happiness was infectious. 

We burst into a clearing containing a small hut that we had built as children. Now at 17 years old, we had adjusted it, making it large enough to still fit us. He led me inside, sitting me down.   
As soon as my butt hit the ground, he was next to me. We had always been close, but over the years I had started to want more. 

Some say we knew each other better than we knew ourselves, and I would have to agree. Eren had been by my side ever since I was six. He had cared for me, come to me when I needed him even when I pushed him away, and had come back, every time. 

It hurt me that I could never have the relationship with him that I wanted, that I craved. My hand itched to touch him, I wanted to smell his scent, and be close to him. 

“I know this will probably seem weird to you, but I have a confession to make to you.” I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the side of the small hideout. 

“Hmmm…” I waited for him to continue. 

“Well…umm…Over…Over time, ummm…” He nervously scratched the back of his head. 

“Just spit it out. It cant possibly be that bad.” His eyes opened wide, and he seemed, almost hurt. 

“I…uh, I…I like you.” Biting his lip, he looked away, quickly reaching over to me when I started choking on my spit. 

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” His face lit up bright red, and he puffed out his cheeks. 

“No. I know you probably don’t feel the same way and that you only see me as a friend, that we could never be more than that because of your father and all that but I still…” 

I couldn't hear the rest of his rambling, having caught his hand in mine. 

“Eren. You have no idea how long I’ve been holding it in. I’ve loved you for years. But I couldn't say anything.” I grimaced. I wanted to give him the world, but I could only give him empty promises. 

“Levi. It doesnt matter. I love you too. I can live with that knowledge. I don't need any more.” He gave me a smile filled with so many emotions, I couldn't even try to place them. But the overwhelming one was love. 

So I didn't hold back. My lips found his, and all the pent up feelings for him that i’d held in for years finally flooded out. I pulled him closer, heat building up between us. It was sweet, yet passionate, my hand weaving its way through his hair, pulling him as close as I could. 

I never wanted to let go, time having stopped for even that small piece of eternity. 

Eventually we separated, breaths heavy in the cramped space. 

Time continued, reminding us that eternity wasn’t ours. And it never would be. 

“I will remember this forever,” he whispered, his forehead touching mine. A tear slide down his cheek, and I wiped it away. 

 

I hadn’t known what he meant at the time, but when the moving vans came, when his house stood empty, I understood. 

He had left. And he was never coming back. 

That was the day my heart shattered. 

I had never imagined such pain, the loss being utterly unbearable. Every night was spent screaming in agony, clawing at my chest, just wanting the pain to go away. 

Over time, it lessened, the pain never completely going away. 

 

~~~

“He sounds like a great man,” the little girl said. She still held my hand, holding me in place as I told her about the love of my life. 

“He was,” I whispered. The rain was still pounding, drenching me to the skin. 

I stood up, letting go of her hand. My steps took me towards the graveyard, the place where my fate would be decided. 

And there the stone stood, his name craved into the slate. I ran my hand over the weathered stone. Decaying flowers stood at its base. 

I kept walking. 

The path grew shorter. 

The edge of the precipice approached, the roaring waters underneath reminding me of him, of the agony of losing him.

Closing my eyes, I let go…


End file.
